Nurse held her own funeral after dodging death twice - but some pals refused to come

A cancer survivor left her friends divided after she announced she'd be hosting a living funeral to celebrate her life after cheating death twice.

Rona Borland, 64, from Stafford, hosted her own funeral after successfully being in for years. She says she also wanted to plan the peculiar send-off after she was almost hit by a car whilst out walking her dog.

The elaborate event and wake cost around and included a comedian, celebrant and living statue. Despite her efforts, some of her pals refused to attend because they didn't "approve" of the idea. They told Rona that "funerals are for the grieving, not for the living."

However, her stepdaughter, Terri Underhill, 41, and her step-grandchildren - Hallie, 22, and Archie, three, were all present for the send-off. Speaking about the , the nurse said: "Why celebrate afterwards? It goes with both of our values about living in the now and celebrating."

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She added: "You spend all this because you want the best for your loved ones. But really, what’s the point of having a top-end coffin when it’s going to go up in smoke - literally? We’ve always felt like the funeral business is a rip off."

Rona was diagnosed with breast cancer in July 2014 after a routine mammogram and it made her think about mortality and want to appreciate life. She was lucky to recover after radiotherapy and medication and lumpectomy and has been in remission for years, .

But after being told she was in remission in 2017, she was dealt another blow when her husband, Robert, was diagnosed with palliative thyroid cancer. He does not know how long he has left.

“It was devastating, really," Rona said. “But because we both work in the health service, we know of people who are a lot worse than us - they get diagnosed with pancreatic cancer or whatever and they're gone in a few months.

“So we try not to dwell on it, and get on and live life and go on lots of holidays. But for us both to have it so near each to other was a real kick in the teeth. It's scary. On the other hand, it helps us to appreciate life and to do things that we wouldn't normally do while we’re still well.”

Living funerals have been gaining popularity across Japan since the 1990s, where they’re known as seizenso - "funeral while living" - with the aim of alleviating pressure from family members or friends organising a funeral after someone had died.

Rona did not want her living funeral to be “sad and miserable and black” so arranged an “upbeat” ceremony - and attendees wore rainbow colours. She created a video in which she wore wings and a halo. The comedian made “upbeat but appropriate” jokes as Rona did not want to be disrespectful to religious people. The living statue was dressed like an angel and stood in reception.

Rona said: “It was very fitting of the venue because it was full of old things. People would come in and he would touch their shoulders, and they'd go through the roof. I thought: ‘They better have a defib here, the age of the people that attended.’ It was fun.” The couple collected donations for their local hospice. Rona enjoyed the event and said people didn’t know what to expect but many thought it was a good idea.

The celebrant spoke about her and Robert’s love story and Robert gave a speech about her, which she said was “sad but lovely”. Some people did not attend - Rona’s brother, Martin Borland, 69, who was unwell, and some colleagues and friends.

Rona said she expected there to be a mixed response. She said: “One of our good friends said: ‘I don't approve of that. I'm not coming.’ They were more into the traditional funeral, and felt that funerals are for the grieving, not for the living. Nobody came from my current work except the admin lady. I was aware that it was going to be unusual and it was out of the norm.

“I respect everybody's individual beliefs and opinions. People were really up for it and said it was a great idea. Another lady had already had one herself because she had cancer. The people who were against it thought it was a bit egocentric. They said things like: ‘That would be awful. I wouldn't want to hear people saying nice things about me,’ and that they didn't want to be the centre of attention. But I think it’s because it's so new and you know what people are like with new things.

“I wanted to spread the word and to give people in similar situations to us with cancer and perhaps with a more life-limiting illness like dementia the opportunity to celebrate with their families. It just makes sense to me. I feel more at peace that I've said what I wanted to say to people, I've said my thank yous and whatnot.”